Need help? Have a burning question? Too embarrassed to talk to your family and friends? Be advised my advice is simply advice. It's sometimes motivational and other times sarcastic and brutally honest. What you do with it is your choice. It's available to you because I enjoy helping others. I want to turn a negative into a positive. Family and friends often make life's situations worse than they are when all you need is guidance and support during a confusing time. I believe our souls have a strength and power far beyond our wildest dreams. Through sharing we learn. Anything goes...dating, relationships, sex, money, spirituality, friendships, family, gossip, fashion, entertainment, etc. If you have a burning question, a complex situation that you need help analyzing, or a random concern, then write me. I can't promise my advice will be what you want to hear but it can be eye-opening and life changing. You may not be able to afford a psychologist so I will do my best. At least my advice is free so why not give it a try?
Angel's Advice
Asked by Undecided
My husband of 10 years does not give me the time, attention or love that he use to. We don't go out and he is always wanting time to himself; not me and his daughter. He works constantly but on his off days he finds other things to do like hanging with his friends or just riding around. He says that he needs his, "Me time," but I told him that we need our alone time and family time as well. This is becoming a problem for me because whenever I bring any of this up he gets upset, starts yelling and says that this is all I want to talk about. He also ignores me. When he's out and I try to call him either he doesn't answer or he turns off his cell. Occasionally he will answer but it is not often. I'm tired of trying to make something work when obviously it seems that it is over or that he wants to live the single life. I'm seriously thinking of getting a divorce since it seems as if this marriage is not important to him as it is to me.
Angel's Advice:
Thank you for writing in and sharing your story. This situation happens so often in marriages. As much as we all hope that our love will never change, it does. Time sometimes brings us closer together and other times, farther apart. You don't actually ask a question or for my advice, so I don't want to dig to deep here but I will say that I agree with you 100%. I would be very hurt and upset if my husband was always avoiding me and my child. It seems as though you have addressed your concerns about the distance within your marriage and instead of him being willing to work with you, he is running. If he's not answering his phone, not coming home at night and yelling at you when you try to get close, he is already checked out. I know if I were in your shoes I would want to leave or seek help. My choices would be go to counseling and try to fix the situation or move on and find some peace elsewhere. I admire your strength and awareness to not pretend here. If you are not getting what you want from your mate and you are not happy, you should move on and trust that there is a better life awaiting you outside this neglectful marriage.
Asked by Need Attention
How do I get my man to pay attention to me? He is always on his phone, texting or hanging with the boys? It's been 3 months and I deserve the attention.
Angel's Advice:
Yes, you do deserve attention and if you are not getting it I suggest you ask for it or leave. Men are all about technology and gadgets. They relate to electronics much more than women. It is also easier for them to chill with the guys in place of entertaining a lady. If you're not getting what you need, leave and look for someone new. It doesn't sound like this guy cares enough to put effort into you. Usually in the beginning all men want to do is give you attention and impress you. If you have this little affection now I must say that, "He's Just Not That Into You!"
Asked by Broke Mom
I spent a little too much money this holiday season and now my family is suffering. I opened up credit cards at department stores and maxed out our VISA and Mastercard. My husband asked me where I was getting the money for all of the stuff I bought and I told him I was getting a holiday bonus. Well that was a lie and now we are $5500 in debt on top of all the other debt we already carried prior to November. We have 2 beautiful kids and I can't say no to them. How do I make it stop?
Angel's Advice:
You make it stop by saying, "NO," to everything you can't afford. Your priority should be teaching your kids, spending time with them and nurturing them; not spoiling them with material gifts you can't afford. Now you sit in a position of debt and stress. You need to be honest with your husband. Tell him you got carried away, you did not get a bonus and you need his help holding you accountable to not spend. You also should have a yard sale to get rid of all the things you have not used in the past six months to a year. This includes CD's, clothes, kitchen appliances, electronics and anything that you have sitting in your home with no real purpose. Get your life back. Being this far in debt in a struggling economy could really hurt your family. Close all your department store credit cards, focus on paying your high interest cards first and always pay more than the minimum when possible. This is going to take a while but you have to go to the extreme to get this debt down. Housing bills, school necessities, medical needs and food are all you should be spending on. Anything else you can't afford until you are out of debt so don't even think about it!
Asked by Drowning In Love
Well I read your advice and I can't do it. I don't want to ruin it with him. I do love him but he does not believe me. I don't understand why he won't talk to me about it. He said if I did love him I would never have left him 8 years ago. Please help me before I go crazy???
Angel's Advice:
There is not much I can say that will heal this situation. You are in a toxic relationship and unwilling to leave and hold him accountable to make changes. If he is blaming you for leaving him 8 years ago then he is mad at you and resents you. No matter how much you apologize until he lets it go, nothing will change. You are holding on to the little love and attention you get from him when he is drunk which screams insecurity on your part. If you had any sense at all you would leave this man and keep your distance until he gets his life together. I understand you love him but that's not a reason to be unhappy. If you can't bare the thought of leaving him then you should get individual and couples therapy ASAP. A few visits won't help. This situation will need at least 4-6 months of weekly sessions to get a handle on what's really going on. If you do neither of these things I assure you that nothing will change, your situation will get worse and either way it will end up in a break up. Do the work now to make this relationship right or suffer the consequences later. You have to take the steps and set the expectation now since he won't. If he refuses to work with you to better your life together, know that you can love him all you want but you will never fully have his love in return. Heal your wounds from the present and the past because if you don't there will be no future.
Asked by Tennessee Girl
My boyfriend and I broke up and he stuck me with ALL the debt (15K). Everything was in my name only. I've talked to a lawyer and he says I can sue, but even if I win, since he doesn't have anything, I'm pretty much screwed. I do have naked pictures of him, (I erased the ones of me) and was thinking I should spread them around so everyone can see what a loser he is. He was tiny.
Angel's Advice:
There is nothing worse than a jerk who leaves a woman with all of his debt. I agree you should be upset and I understand your interest in revenge. The desire to strike back at him right now is high and will prevent you from thinking rationally. The fact is you allowed yourself to get in this situation by taking care of him and sharing all your credit with him. You are the one who put yourself here. Even if he agreed he would pay it back to you the situation is that you were not married, you did not sign a contract and you took a risk that has proven not to work out. I feel badly for you I really do. I suggest you get your life in order, make a plan to pay this debt off and never let a man share or borrow your money or credit again. It's a lesson learned and speading naked pictures of him, (although satisfying in the moment), will only cause more drama and likley give you bad karma.
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