10 things MEN will never understand about WOMEN!!!

Men and women are so very different. Aside from the obvious differences, there are little quirky moments, common in male/female relationships that get so complicated we just can't understand each other. It's often very stressful to be a women. Women have to work hard to stay youthful, beautiful and fit; we have to carry a baby for 9 months while getting fat and feeling like an emotional wreck, followed by the intense desire to be a perfect mom; we have a period and PMS for decades every single month which is so unfair; we fight with things like cellulite on our thighs, muffin tops around our waist, wrinkles on our forehead and the constant fluctuation in the size of our boobs. We find simple pleasure in mindless shopping and endless hours of conversation. This lifestyle is very different from that of a man. God gave us men, who they say are from Mars and unable to speak our beautiful Venus language. What a load of crap. Get it together boys, we are not that difficult. I have compiled a list of all the things I could think of that men will never understand about us. If you can think of any please share. The least we can all do is get a good laugh today.

10 Things MEN will never understand about WOMEN

1) The importance of hair and the reason it takes so long to fix. Never question why we have so many hair products. It's a process and some hair days need more work than others.

2) What it's like to BLOAT and CRAMP. When your pants don't button and your bra is too tight, it's not going to be a good day. A man should never think for a single second that there is a chance in hell we will be feeling sexy on days like this.

3) Why we look over our shoulder. Women are trained to be on the lookout, the defense, aware of our surroundings at all times to prevent any possible kidnap, mugging, rape or any negative situation. A man will never know what it's like to feel scared or on the alert when walking to a car. This is something we live with every day.

4) Stupid female jealousy. Women turn on women all the time when they get jealous. Girlfriends become haters and gossip happens. Even if you don't participate, bitches around you will and hence it never ends. Men get over things in a minute. Some women can hold onto their anger for years. It is what it is.

5) Cellulite and why we obsess about it. It can be seen through light colored pants, it makes us insecure in a swimsuit, and no matter how much we exercise it's still there. Men will never know how much of a battle this is. We can buy the creams, massage our dimples every night and do lunges until we can't walk. Cellulite never goes away. ARGH!

6) A woman's skill to multitask is as good as it gets. A man is happy if he gets the kids fed, grabs their lunch boxes, drops them off at school before the bell rings and arrives to his work on time. Women actually make eggs and bacon for breakfast, pack lunches, get kids ready, get themselves ready, pull out food for dinner that night, throw a load of clothes in the dryer, run the dishwasher, feed the dog and get gas for the car. Women then get the kids to school early so they can play with friends and she still has time to pick up a coffee and bagels for the office on her way to work. NOW THAT'S BEING PRODUCTIVE. Top that boys!!!

7) NEWS FLASH: "Women take a long time to get ready." When a woman goes out she wants to look her best. For some of us this takes one hour, for others maybe two hours. Either way, women will always put effort into make-up, nails, hair and clothes when it comes to going out. A man can get ready in 20 minutes but us ladies like to go the extra mile. The men just have to deal with it. We like to feel attractive and taking our time to look perfectly beautiful is never going to change.

8) Men don't understand FAT/SKINNY PANTS! I have yet to meet a female who does not hold onto fat pants and skinny pants. Considering women can gain 10 pounds quicker than they can lose 3, we hold onto a range of sizes so we will always have something to wear. Right before my period, I may be a size 14 and a week after a size 10. Women have to have variety, our bodies are unpredictable.

9) When it comes to talking we can do it all day, all night and on the pisser if we have to. A woman's need to communicate and express is endless. This drives men insane! They don't understand it but it will never change. We talk out our feelings step by step and don't need answers, we just want to be heard. Don't shut us up while we are venting, we don't want your opinion. We simply want your undivided attention while we talk it out. Is this too much to ask???

10) Every woman has a bit of crazy in her. If a man had to do all that we do above they would know that a little crazy is inevitable. The juggling, shuffling, pressure, time-managing and effort women put into every day to be good, do right, stay safe, look fabulous, earn money and be fit and healthy is overwhelming. It's the little bit of crazy that women celebrate because it keeps us lighthearted and laughing.

There are so many more I can think of but I will have to write it in a Part II because this list is getting long. If you have any reasons why you think men will never understand women please share. Sometimes it's fun to just laugh at our differences and face our quirkiness.

XO,
Angel

Cell Phones and Driving

Many of you who watch Oprah have heard her request to all of America to make your car a no cell phone zone. Numerous states have adopted this as a law, including my sunny California. I imagine this will become a country wide law soon so stopping the habit now is a good idea. Unfortunately breaking the habit is a lot harder than I thought. It's easy for Oprah to adopt this goal because she has a chauffeur. I drive myself everywhere so this is a challenge for me.

I do agree that cell phones are a distraction while driving. They offer way to much entertainment including games, Internet, texting and talking. You can play with them endlessly changing your ring-tones, background or admiring your pictures. When they ring all your attention goes to the phone. It's an addiction that we all think is no big deal because we all have it. How can something so fun, cute and exciting be dangerous? That's the problem - this fun piece of technology has basically turned us all into drunk drivers.

It has been said that when you are texting the quality of your driving becomes as weak as a drunk driver. They have done tests and have proved that your ability to see all that is going on around you is cut in half. You also lesson your instinct to respond quickly to an oncoming accident. Obviously if you are looking at your phone, you are not going to see an accident approaching. By the time you are aware of your situation it's usually too late.

My mind struggles with the justification of all this. I want to be a safe driver but I also want to pass my time while stuck in traffic. I like to feel that I'm being productive and I can get a lot of communicating done while in the vehicle. Naturally my Ego tells me that I'm capable of paying attention and using a phone. I tell myself that I'm smart enough to do this safely and that an accident related to a cell won't happen to me. I also question the following:

1) People eat in the car all the time and that can't be safe - are we going to create a law for that?
2) Women put on their makeup and men shave which is a distraction - are they going to get pulled over?
3) Playing with your navigation system and trying to follow the map on the screen can be very dangerous - are we going to remove those from cars?
4) Reading a book or newspaper in traffic is risky - will you get a ticket for that?
5) Having multiple people in your car, especially screaming kids can be very distracting - we have no laws for that!
6) Changing a CD or radio station is something we are all guilty of - any laws when this causes an accident?
7) Reading billboards, bus posters and store fronts take your eyes off the road - is that illegal? Will we end up in jail for all the advertising distraction around us that is allowed to be posted and in our face?

I really struggle with this stuff. It seems if a cell phone is going to be illegal, all these other distractions should be illegal too. When you are bored, stressed, emotional, sleepy or stuck in traffic, your eyes and mind wonder. You will look at billboards and shops, pick at your nails, write down some notes and change out your music. Accidents happen, it's the risk we all take getting into a car everyday. I think the pledge we should all be taking is, "I commit to driving fully aware today!" With this pledge, you vow to pay attention to the road, the people on the streets, and the lights and signs related to driving. You commit to not be distracted by your cell phone, GPS, billboards or the guy selling fruit or flowers on the side of the road. It's a commitment to not allow yourself to lose focus when driving. This is not easy, but if we are all going to remain safe, it's our duty to start paying attention 100%.

I wish you all luck in making your cars a no cell phone zone. I confess, it has been a challenge for me. I know I pledge to do my best to, "Drive fully aware today!" After all, it's being present while driving that will save lives.

XO,
Angel

Are you a Booty Call?

Many women get confused on whether or not a man is in love, lust or like with them. Part of the problem is that women often over analyze and over exaggerate the signals men send. I guarantee you that if he's not putting in 110% effort in the beginning, then he is not that into you. If he is doing any of the following then be ready to admit that, "YES! You are a booty call!"

1) If when you are together you don't talk much and when you do talk he shuts you up by making physical advances - you are a booty call.

2) If you are doing the walk of shame the next day because you are not allowed to date, be seen in public, or bring over personal items to his house - you are a booty call.

3) If he claims he is not interested in dating you, yet thinks you are sexy and wants to sleep with you - you are a booty call.

4) If he calls you a few times a week after happy hour ends or texts you at 2am when last call takes place looking to hang out - you are a booty call.

5) If you have not met his family and you don't get invited to events where his friends are - you are a booty call.

6) If he takes off in the morning and never stays for breakfast - you are a booty call.

7) If he's not asking about you, your family, your friends, your goals and your dreams - you are a booty call.

8) If he texts randomly for hook-ups; not dates - you are a booty call.

9) If he has not bought you gifts, paid for a dinner or taken you to a movie - you are a booty call.

10) If he doesn't give you his address, phone number or email information but wants yours - you are a booty call.

11) If he takes calls and texts when he's with you, claiming they are just his friends then he is full of shit. He has no respect for you and he is likely setting up his next booty call after he screws you.

12) If he claims that he is in a relationship he plans to get out of and requests that the you two need to keep the relationship quiet until he leaves his wife or girlfriend - you are a booty call.

If a man wants to be with you, he will do anything to be with you regardless of who is in the picture. If any of these situations sound familiar, be smart and don't waste your time. Men who do this never have good intentions. They will confuse you, break your heart and disrespect you time and time again. Don't let a booty-taker get in your head and mess with your ideals of courtship and love. You will not find a good companion if you are spending time falling for these booty-taking assholes.

XO,
Angel

Go COMMANDO

If you do not know what this means then you might want to take a seat so I don’t shock you again. But yes people, I mean it. Go without underwear. I don’t care if you do it today, tomorrow or next week. Leave the thong, string bikini, grandma underwear or boxers in the underwear drawer where they belong. Dare and bare ladies.

There are many reasons to do this. First off, it is more comfortable to not have your panties in a bunch. I don’t know about you, but I hate digging my chonies (that’s my nickname for underwear) out of my ass all day. I have a hard enough time getting stuff out of that zone let alone putting cotton, lace or Lycra up there. It’s not fun to walk around feeling like you have a wad of toilet paper stuck between your cheeks. I know you all understand that feeling so I will stop there.

The idea of going without panties is to feel free. You will interest your partner. Shock him every once in a while. Most of the time you will have underwear on but how fun would it be if your partner started checking to see if today was his lucky day. It’s fun, it’s sexy and it’s your little secret. You may even find that you love to not wear underwear. Great, I am sure your mate won’t mind. Just promise me you will not try on clothes at the department store without your panties on because that’s nasty.

Do be sensual about this. Make it something that you do because it makes you feel good and flirty. It’s not exciting if you have no underwear on yet you look uncomfortable. No, you will not do this on the days of your period because that’s unsanitary. You should not pull a, “Basic Instinct,” and flash your privates to a bunch of strangers while wearing a mini skirt. You should not continue this if for some reason it is uncomfortable or causes infection of any kind. For women who wear their pants real tight, this is not a good idea.

I encourage, “GOING COMMANDO,” because I'm living proof it works. It does make me feel sexy to walk around knowing I'm not wearing underwear. It’s like you get a rush because you are breaking a rule. I mean really, “Who would actually think I had no chonies on?” People would be shocked. It helps that my man loves to put his hands down my pants to feel my booty and be free of any constricting elastic. Although I don’t do it all the time, I do it often, and that keeps him coming for more.

My favorite story is of a woman who never wore underwear when she wore a pair of jeans. Because of this her husband paid special attention to how she was dressed when they went out. When he wanted a little extra sexual attention he would ask her, “Baby can you wear jeans out tonight?” Her promise to him was to wear jeans at least once a week. On jean night, sex was a for sure thing. I love this idea because a simple jean commitment created positive sexual energy for this couple. See what I am saying here? Share some sexy in any way that you can. Remember keep it simple and have fun doing it!

XO,
Angel

Quit Blaming!!!

Life can be hard and passing blame off to others is a common characteristic of many Americans. I know I've fallen victim of this. I'm surrounded by people who simply want to pass off blame and take no ownership for the situation they are in. Whether big or small struggles, own your situation. Face your fears, respect those around you, and solve your own problems. Quit blaming! If you find yourself doing any of the following you are guilty. Make a conscious decision to catch yourself blaming and stop. The only person you can blame for your situation is you.

1) The Economy - Stop complaining that you have no life, no fun and no money because of the economy. Many of you bitching were struggling with money before the economy crashed. You were living paycheck to paycheck, racking up your credit card debt on nice clothes, flat screen TVs and video games, driving cars you couldn't afford and living in a house outside your means. Now that you have to be responsible with every dollar you have, you are upset. Quit being irresponsible. If you can't pay for it, don't buy it. Financing toys is just dumb. Don't blame the economy.

2) Your Mate - If you don't like the person you have chosen to date, live with or marry then get the hell out. It's not their fault. Don't blame them for ruining your life. You can leave and start over. Blaming him for every little thing will never work. Learn to let go or pack your bags.

3) The Alcohol - Blaming your drunken night for your poor decisions is unfair. Only you can control your alcohol consumption. If you drink and drive, get caught and end up in the slammer -it's your fault. Don't blame the system, don't blame your friends for not stopping you and don't blame the cop. Alcohol is no excuse for drunk driving, violence, sexual abuse, racism or vandalism. Get it together.

4) Your Job - When there is a job to do and you are getting paid - do it. You are a hired employee, replaceable by someone willing to do the same work for less money so don't be stupid. No matter how good you are at your job, someone else will do it better. Don't blame work for stress, disrespect or poor structure. If you don't agree get out.

5) The Media - The media is not to blame for your anorexia, bulimia, or addiction to clothing labels. Since when do we raise women to think they can look like Jennifer Aniston on the cover of Cosmo? Not going to happen. Wrecking your body or being addicted to shopping is not the media or celebrities fault. Don't blame them because you are not smart enough to think for yourself.

6) Your Kids - Your children do not deserve the blame for you being a liar. When you ask a child to keep a secret from their grandparents or friends and they mess up, blame yourself. You actually asked your child to lie. If it backfires, spank yourself!

7) Your Parents - Once you're an adult and you know right from wrong, your choices are no longer linked to your parents. Don't blame mom for your inability to grow up or dad for your need for male attention. People in the real world don't care to spend time with adults who blame their parents and their childhood for all their issues. Get a backbone, get a life and live for yourself. Your parents made sure you made it to 18 alive and healthy; thank them for that. The rest is on you.

8) All technology - Video games are not why you are fat. The TV is not why you can't read. The Internet is not why you are overworked. You're cell phone is not an excuse for being out of physical touch. Quit blaming technology for the lack of care you give to yourself and your avoidance with spending quality time with humans.

9) All Food - Eat right or be unhealthy. There are so many choices of food available and if you are choosing chips, burgers and fries than you are going to have a heart attack. Don't act shocked when you are heading in for heart surgery. If you feed your body crap and treat it poorly then you will not live well. Don't blame the food, blame you for eating it. You control what goes in your mouth, not the grocery store.

10) Your Friends - No one is perfect and if your friendships are going to last more than 2-3 years, it will take work. The major part of this work is learning not to blame them. Don't blame your friend for not being there for you, not supporting you or giving you bad advice. Don't be disappointed in your friend for having an opinion of your life. The bestest of friends are the ones who can share their opinion, especially when they disagree, and both parties know that their will be no love lost. You will need friends so don't punish them. If you feel they are not worth saving then move on but without blame.

Now that you have read this are you guilty of blaming? I know I am. I encourage everyone to take 100% ownership for your situation good and bad. Only you control your life. If you don't realize this then you are a lost soul. See if you can start recognizing this bad habit and start saying, "Thank You," in place of blame. Imagine how beautiful the world can be if more people thought this way.

For those of you ready to attack me let me say this. Yes, blame the law and police if you are wrongfully arrested, blame your parents if they abused you, blame your job if they wrongfully terminated you. However in these moments of blame, once you can move on, do so. Don't live in the blame. Acknowledge that something bad happened, seek the help you need and get back to living.

XO,
Angel

Valentine, "I love you!"

To my Valentine

In the beginning our love was hot, spicy and great
Flowers, dining, candy and a romantic movie date
Lots of sex, spooning and rose petals too
A night of loving just between me and you

As the years pass, our love and friendship has grown
To a new level that in others eyes is strongly known
A connection we share with a simple look or a kiss
Our hugs, our moments, our joy and our pure bliss

Not every day is easy, some days challenge us hard
We don't always know how to let down our guard
We have brought out the best and worst in one another
I don't want a lazy man and you don't want another mother

But the happiness comes from moving on through
No matter how difficult the problem, compromise is what we do
Not every challenge resolves easily over night
But when times get hard we have never lost sight

Our commitment and our time is what I hold dear
Each day is special, with your love I have no fear
You feel home to me, I know our life is good
I've never felt so calm and so understood

I'm blessed to have your attention and your love
I always thank the stars and heaven above
I have learned so much and continue to each day
I hope that our love together is here to stay

Happy Valentine's Day! I love you....

Angel

A new FACEBOOK again? Arghh!!!

Can someone explain to me why Facebook keeps changing their format? I get that they are trying to stay current and keep it interesting but they are making me crazy. Why can't they implement one or two changes at a time? Am I off base for thinking it's ridiculous for all news feeds, status updates, posted pictures, gaming and more to all come crammed on my home page? Why does Facebook have to tell me when a friend of mine becomes a fan of Farmville? I could care less. Was it necessary to switch the sides for the home page and wall links? Do I actually have to click on the account link to then click on the logout link? Oh yes, I do. One more annoying step for me but one more hit for you making your websites statistics increase while the users are cursing at the screen.

My theory is Facebook simply wants more hits to promote their business. Every time they change their layout you are forced to click on things and discover new ways to get around the site. You must go to your account settings (that they constantly mess with) and try to decipher what all the stuff means. You have to check and uncheck the items in the hopes your information comes through as you wish. This is their way of staying on the leader board for hits and visits each day. It's a numbers game and they plan to win. FB is getting attention in a big way, all these random changes keeps them the topic of conversation. As annoying as this is, it's working and it's making me nuts!

Why people prefer Facebook over Myspace I have no idea. Myspace is user friendly, colorful, exciting and fun. I know that Facebook has all the games like Mafia Wars, Sorority Life and Farmville - but who cares? For staying in social contact and displaying pictures I prefer Myspace. At least on Myspace you can have a cute profile page, change your colors and layouts and post cool graphics as comments. My hope is that people will eventually say, "Facebook, you suck! I'm sick of going on a hunt every time I want to read status updates only!" Maybe this will increase Myspace traffic. I can only hope.

Either way, I can be found on both Myspace and Facebook, along with Twitter. Twitter feels a little silly. Unless you are celebrity stalking, or promoting a business, Twitter is useless. I don't need to know that you are in your car off to work, blow drying your hair or eating dinner. It's called life people, live it. Not everything needs to be announced so get over yourself. It's not a race to see who can update more. Get off the damn Internet and start living your life rather than posting it!!!

Peace-out!
XO,
Angel